Sunday, May 15
Alone but not lonely. I suppose this phrase fits me quite well, as much as it puzzles my family and friends. I am quite content in an empty house full of blaring music, typing away at a keyboard, chilling with a pile of cats, who idly sleep away the afternoon. Still debating whether or not being a cat in a next life would be a good thing or not. Lots of sleep, yes, but you'd have a constant case of fish breath. Not that I'd care then, of course.
Felines aside. It's the same at school. The only place you find me outside of class is a hallway alcove, where I am either a) doing homework or b) reading a book. Everyone else is amused by wandering the halls, cafeteria, library, and computer lab, laughing and chasing. I am amused by novels. It all works out, I suppose, even if I am not exactly the most exciting person to hang out with.
But I can't help but lay alone in bed sometimes, ignoring the textbooks on the floor, symphonic Led Zeppelin and neon light the only other objects that show some sign of existence, and miss human company. A blessing and a curse, having such interests, I suppose, and such unorthodox views on life. I have, what, five friends? Out of a school of 800? Lots of friendly acquaintances, sure, but not really people who you would let lick your personal items without you raising an eyebrow.
I don't like feeling lonely, because somehow I think I asked for it. I wanted to be alone. Isn't that it? I feel like I shouldn't complain and then I just sit there and forget for a while because there isn't anything better to do and nothing to distract me from doing it.
Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the city I live in the city of angels?
As lonely as I am, together we cry
Sometimes it's not so bad, though...because it's easier to laugh when no one's around...
But I miss being with you now, when there are only cool breezes from open windows to console me and all of the light has gone away.
Felines aside. It's the same at school. The only place you find me outside of class is a hallway alcove, where I am either a) doing homework or b) reading a book. Everyone else is amused by wandering the halls, cafeteria, library, and computer lab, laughing and chasing. I am amused by novels. It all works out, I suppose, even if I am not exactly the most exciting person to hang out with.
But I can't help but lay alone in bed sometimes, ignoring the textbooks on the floor, symphonic Led Zeppelin and neon light the only other objects that show some sign of existence, and miss human company. A blessing and a curse, having such interests, I suppose, and such unorthodox views on life. I have, what, five friends? Out of a school of 800? Lots of friendly acquaintances, sure, but not really people who you would let lick your personal items without you raising an eyebrow.
I don't like feeling lonely, because somehow I think I asked for it. I wanted to be alone. Isn't that it? I feel like I shouldn't complain and then I just sit there and forget for a while because there isn't anything better to do and nothing to distract me from doing it.
Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the city I live in the city of angels?
As lonely as I am, together we cry
Sometimes it's not so bad, though...because it's easier to laugh when no one's around...
But I miss being with you now, when there are only cool breezes from open windows to console me and all of the light has gone away.
Comments:
Hello Zen,
You may not remember me, I owned Abstract Lemons, the neglected website. Anywho, just thought I'd tell you who I am.
Also, about this post, I know how you feel, you put in a much more poetic and simple way, (I tend to make things complicated for no reason) but you are not alone. Nobody is ever alone, even when physically we are alone, we aren't. Here is the part where I am supposed to say how the lord will be there or something like that but the fact is, all you have to do is call on your family or friends and they will be there. Or, if you ever even need me - just call, I'm reading (whoa, I know that sounds creepy).
You may not remember me, I owned Abstract Lemons, the neglected website. Anywho, just thought I'd tell you who I am.
Also, about this post, I know how you feel, you put in a much more poetic and simple way, (I tend to make things complicated for no reason) but you are not alone. Nobody is ever alone, even when physically we are alone, we aren't. Here is the part where I am supposed to say how the lord will be there or something like that but the fact is, all you have to do is call on your family or friends and they will be there. Or, if you ever even need me - just call, I'm reading (whoa, I know that sounds creepy).
# posted by 
: 9:36 AM
: 9:36 AM
Alone by not lonely...
To me, the computer has been a suitable companion, as I really see it as a means to connect to a world outside my own. That in itself makes me feel that i'm not alone because I can be talking to people miles away at all hours of the day. Still, I think i get lonely, sometimes even when in the presence of others. Strange, eh?
Hm. As for what you do at school, well, that's just a testiment to the kind of person you are. Someone who isn't like everyone else, thought not dull or boring. I must say that my conversations with you have to be some of the liveliest (and sometimes wackiest) i've had.
Even if you have only five friends at school, remember your fans on the 'net. I know it's not the same since we're not physically there, but still. We really are still reading, and even if it doesn't seem like we're here, i know i'll miss you if you disappear. As for licking your possessions...*raises an eyebrow at the thought of such a thing* lol.
I don't think anyone likes feeling lonely. In truth, i doubt it's a matter of being lonely. You can be alone but not lonely. I think loneliness comes from a seperation of spirit. You'd be happy to be alone, probably, if only everyone else understood that and understood why. But the fact that they don't alienates you beyond just being alone... I dunno.I could have it all wrong. We may ask for quiet, peaceful solitary time, but never for loneliness.
*smiles* Besides, when you can listen to Red Hot Chili Peppers and have plenty of people on the web that love you, it can't be all that bad. :)
To me, the computer has been a suitable companion, as I really see it as a means to connect to a world outside my own. That in itself makes me feel that i'm not alone because I can be talking to people miles away at all hours of the day. Still, I think i get lonely, sometimes even when in the presence of others. Strange, eh?
Hm. As for what you do at school, well, that's just a testiment to the kind of person you are. Someone who isn't like everyone else, thought not dull or boring. I must say that my conversations with you have to be some of the liveliest (and sometimes wackiest) i've had.
Even if you have only five friends at school, remember your fans on the 'net. I know it's not the same since we're not physically there, but still. We really are still reading, and even if it doesn't seem like we're here, i know i'll miss you if you disappear. As for licking your possessions...*raises an eyebrow at the thought of such a thing* lol.
I don't think anyone likes feeling lonely. In truth, i doubt it's a matter of being lonely. You can be alone but not lonely. I think loneliness comes from a seperation of spirit. You'd be happy to be alone, probably, if only everyone else understood that and understood why. But the fact that they don't alienates you beyond just being alone... I dunno.I could have it all wrong. We may ask for quiet, peaceful solitary time, but never for loneliness.
*smiles* Besides, when you can listen to Red Hot Chili Peppers and have plenty of people on the web that love you, it can't be all that bad. :)
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# posted by : 3:24 AM
: 3:24 AM
