Wednesday, June 8

Well. That's it. I'm done.

And for once, I am not talking about Freshman year.

- - -

When I started this, two years ago today, I was about four days away from getting out of the seventh grade. My world was kind of simplistic and I don't really remember much of it. I just thought these blog things looked kinda nifty and set one up for myself. Thus began my two year stunt in the world of conveying your thoughts on the internet.

In hindsight, I don't think I really expected to come this far.


Heh. I can't think of anything to say.

Anyway, I suppose I'll cut to the chase. I'm moving to the dark side.

Yes, THAT dark side.

So if, for some strange reason, you liked reading my thoughts HERE, just change your links and bookmarks and continue enjoying my sarcastic comments and weird links elsewhere.

Thanks if you've ever left a comment, written an e-mail (or replied to one. *grins), linked me, or even just read a post. I really do appreciate it, you know.

Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did.

(And we're STILL being led by an idiot with a crayon. Guess some things never change.)

- - - - -


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Tuesday, June 7

Yes, I bombed the Algebra final. Ah well. My final grade in the class is still a C.
I did rather well on the History final, though, and I have an A- there.
Health final was a breeze.
Latin wasn't that bad, either.

Still hot.

Gotta go cram for Biology final tomorrow morning. Freedom is so...very...close...

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Monday, June 6

I am going to fail my algebra final.

This is going to be my (predicted, so take with a minor grain of salt) report card after all of this is over. Behold:

Latin 1: A
Biology: B+
History: A-
Algebra: C-
English: A
Health: A-



Ah well. I'm not majoring in anything remotely related to mathematics, so cheers to that, mates.

Maybe to make it up to Mr. Ciske, I'll send him a postcard from Tokyo one day. ^_^

In other news:
1. It's still hot as fuck.
2. Cutting and bleaching my hair is looking like a better prospect everyday.
3. I do not own enough pairs of shorts.
4. Too bad I'll never spend a dime of my own money on trivial things like clothing.
5. Speaking of which, I'm short on books.
6. But not on fics to re-read. *COUGH* *COUGH*
7. Oh yes, and I'll be out for summer vacation at precisely 9:50 AM Wednesday morning.
8. Free time HO!

sarcastic_muse28: ...
sarcastic_muse28: don't make me come to california and sit on you.
sarcastic_muse28: pounce and sit on you.
asev0: hey, that's a good idea!
asev0: give you more motivation to come to CA
asev0: *glomps you*
asev0: sure, i'll suffer the ignominy of being sat on, but i think i could live with it if you came all the way to ca to do that
sarcastic_muse28: not just being sat on. sat on by someone dressed up as draco malfoy.
sarcastic_muse28: in an airport.
asev0: hahahahaHAHA
asev0: then i wouldn't even mind
asev0: i'd be laughing too hard
asev0: you have to sneer, too, when you're doing that
sarcastic_muse28: *shakes head*
sarcastic_muse28: *smirks*

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Sunday, June 5

And it won't be getting any better over the next few days. Finals shall be extra fun in this sweltering heat.


Three. More. Days.

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asev0: what about the anal sex? is that invisible too?

I am so sorry asev, but you sealed your own fate with that one.

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Saturday, June 4

(2:09 PM) sarcastic_muse28's status message is now "shower and then studying. (hopefully)"
(7:12 PM) sarcastic_muse28's status message is now "pretending to study."
(10:32 PM) sarcastic_muse28's status message is now "stopped pretending to study three hours ago, now reading mac hall archives."

Story of my damn life, I tell you.
Oh well. Drew's wrath stopped scaring me shitless six months ago.

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1. I am really bad at studying. Or rather, I'm bad at concentrating. Because I can't concentrate long enough to even BEGIN studying.
2. The algebra book is mocking me.
3. Three more bloody days of hellish, hot, final-filled fun.
4. I keep playing California by Joni Mitchell to see if my mother can take a hint.
5. Holy shiitake mushrooms is it hot.
6. Showers = good.
7. My desk is scattered with piles of index cards. They are also mocking me.
8. I am never going to remember algebra equations we did three months ago. Numbers go in one ear and out the other with me.
9. Biology will be my downfall, though.
10. Not worried about much else and happy the year is over.
11. Still mad that I have to take a health final.
12. Note to self: Make sure Lizz isn't going to fail all of her finals.
13. Chocolate is bad for you.
14. Note to self: ask mother's opinion on chance of me cutting and bleaching hair and perhaps purchasing a green cape.
15. Note to self: practice sneer for added effect.
16. Your mom.

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Thursday, June 2

ish1withdawind: *foams at the mouth*
ish1withdawind: @#@
ish1withdawind: OMG OMFG OMFFFGGGG!!!
ish1withdawind: SASAME...TAKAKO...DOOOMMM!!!!!
sarcastic_muse28: ...wha?
ish1withdawind: DOOOOOOM!
ish1withdawind: GAYH!
ish1withdawind: hes going to give up being a knight for that bitch?
sarcastic_muse28: ...
sarcastic_muse28: um.
sarcastic_muse28: lizz.
sarcastic_muse28: it's just an anime.

How is it possible that I took a three and a half hour nap and am still tired by 10:00? *sighs and sips caffeine*
No matter, I suppose. I'll be spending the entire weekend studying last minute (or procrastinating last minute, depending on my mood).

...Still tired...

- - - - -

100 Words.

My favorite poem is about peaches and summertime and love.

For some reason you never seemed to share the same appreciation for summer breezes that I had acquired as a young girl, but you ran through fields after me just the same, as I tripped through sunlight and dreamt of deep rivers that never ended, while you smiled and hoped for snow to come quickly and wash everything away.

And I new I loved you when you saw beauty in those dark landscapes that held no life, glimpsing into swirling drifts of white when you thought no one was watching.

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Tuesday, May 31

So. Finals. Finals are just not very cool, eh?
Especially when I'm making Asev read Shoebox and she is tormenting me with ridiculously funny passages every five minutes. *mutters* I am re-reading it as soon as I am done with this mess, next Wednesday, the eighth of June.

In other news, five more fucking days of school. FIVE. I am only a Freshman for five more days.

Where did THAT year go?

On the whole, it was kind of nice. Much better than some of the Freshman year horror stories I've heard. In any case, I think I grew a lot as a person this year, so...I'm glad.

Hm. Amazing how finals can totally fine tune your procrastinating skills.

I'm going to go wallow in my own self-pity now, kthxbye.

- - - - -

Watch the trailer for Howl's Moving Castle, out June 10.
Stream the new Coldplay album, X&Y.
Watch the trailer for The Corpse Bride and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. (again and again and again and...)
Stream the new Gorillaz album, Demon Days.

- - - - -

100 Words.

As I struggle rather fruitlessly to study for finals, boiling away in the humidity that seems to have been avoiding us for weeks, I can't help but wish it was snowing again.

Wishing it was January, the last day of finals. We went into town together, celebrating even though it was only twenty degrees outside and you had forgotten a scarf (which was fine, you just stole mine). We ran through blinding sunlight, breath puffing out behind us, and nothing could stop us because we were young and free of the confines of high school, if only for a moment.

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Thursday, May 26

Five things I'd like to see engraved on little rubber bracelets:
1. Nap Strong
2. My Other Bracelet is Fighting Colon Cancer
3. America: Shut Thy Pie Hole
4. Kiss Me, I'm Trendy
5. Please Watch Arrested Development
As someone who sees those idiotic little rubber bracelets everyday, a big kudos to 5ives.


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Johnny Depp is playing the main character and Danny Elfman's doing the soundtrack. Woo.

Also, Shoebox has updated.

AND I have a four day weekend. Which I'll spend studying, but still. Teh win.

Fresh cut grass. Summer, she approaches.

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Wednesday, May 25

More from 100 Words.

- - - - -

He's on one of his 'Thornton-Wilder-is-God-and-describes-love-perfectly-I-think-I'll-have-sex-with-this-book-now' trips. I yawn and try in vain to catch a glimpse of the clock.

I slip off, staring out the window and imagining the snow that once drifted down outside of it. Now life is budding and everything is a different shade of green, but I remember a world that once was solely white, my perfect palette to wash dreams upon. My hand is a poor imitation, marred with spirals of winding cerulean text.

Still wondering if you thought about snow before you left us again.

I turn up the music in my head.

- - - - -

I can feel her over my shoulder.

"Why don't the people you draw have faces?"

I close the sketchbook deftly and stand, beginning to move forward.

"Why don't the lives you lead have meaning?"

The double doors are closing before a response even begins to form on her lips and I am left standing in dripping rain drops that slip unknowingly down my face.

I'm guessing this might be one of the reasons I can't make many friends.

But I prefer my sarcastic comments to monotonous human companionship any day.

I smile to myself and glance up.

More rain for me.

- - - - -

You lay on the bed, surrounded by warmth you feel but cannot see. There is thick summer sunshine drifting overhead and you glimpse miniscule particles of nothingness floating away with the rays.

All the time: you wonder if you will make the right choices, if perhaps you will have to give up this sunlight one day.

For now you try to forget, eyes slipping closed as you slowly dream of afternoons such as these long ago when you had no worries and life did not have such a biting aftertaste, when you were both dragons and nothing seemed to matter.

- - - - -

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Monday, May 23

I'm predicting maybe two people will get this joke. It's ok, I'm probably one of them. Oh well.

In other news, beaches are good.


Yes, I am looking for an excuse to not finish that lab cover sheet for Biology and this is all I have to work with. Also, finals begin in less than two weeks and I haven't started studying yet. And I'm almost out of index cards. *sobs quietly in the corner* This is just not my day. I think I got some of the preservative juice from the pig we're dissecting on my jacket too. Argh.

At least we have a four day weekend. Which I will spend studying for finals. And at least summer begins soon. Which I will spend diligently forgetting everything I have learned this year. Yes indeed. The anime marathons. There will be many. You can just expect me to cut off all physical contact with human beings outside of this house for a few months, apart from a few instances in which Lizz will show up randomly at my house and drag me to odd places. Like her radioactive waste laden excuse for a room.

But on the whole, sleeping in will be nice.


Sufjan Stevens' music is like love in condensed MP3 form.


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Friday, May 20

I'm eating TOAST.


Ok. Up at Lizz's cottage again for weekend.
It's kind of hard to type and eat toast at the same time.

But it's certainly delicious.

Oh, yeah: and you fuckers catch on eventually, don't you?


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Wednesday, May 18

Recently Overheard.

- - - - -

Girl in Hallway: They're saying acid washed is the new pink.
Her Friend: Mmhmm.
(My hope in humanity is once again lost.)

- - - - -

Girl in Algebra: I think I'm going to commit suicide.
Mr. Ciske: Oh, don't ever say that.
Girl in Algebra: ...sorry.
Mr. Ciske: If you're going to kill yourself, you don't want to do it right before summer vacation; at least wait until August.
(My hope in humanity is once again restored.)

- - - - -

Lizz: Cat-chan.
Me: Yes?
Lizz: I brought back your fondue pot.
Me: ...give me back that sugar.
(She says it ten times a day.)

- - - - -

And now for today's piece of zen:
"I fail at life!" written in fancy script on the blackboard in Algebra, with little hearts replacing all of the dots in the i's and the exclamation point.

- - - - -

*falls over*
*passes out*

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Monday, May 16

I wrote some drabbles recently for 100 Words. Will probably have more in the future, might post some from time to time.

Night night, future minions.

- - - - -

He says my poems compliment my facial features. I am not quite sure what this is supposed to insinuate. He quietly sips his coffee and looks out the window dreamily at people that walk by. He says love is leaving and thinks of doing so himself one day, but for now all he imagines are the dreams of the ones that drift into his spectrum of view and just as quickly slip out again. I laugh. He looks up and smiles warmly, and I can't help but feel guilty about what I might lose in him.

He closes his eyes.

- - - - -

The day he first said 'I love you,' was the day it rained incessantly. The other boy looked over calmly and gave that wonderful smile which always made his heart bloom, whisperingly quietly 'I know.'

Now he lays on roof tops and wishes he were with him. His long trips to places he never meant to be seem like agony, yet they are magic; he knows he is being loved from somewhere far away from here, far from steamy pavement and drifting clouds, where the horizon never meets the sky and girls with tan skin dance flittingly in the moonlight.

- - - - -

I watch her these days more closely than ever, but still so far away.

She thinks her life is difficult as she struggles to get up, staring blankly at the ceiling, faded sunlight drifting in an open window she does not remember opening. She thinks her life is difficult, slipping into her sandals. She thinks it is difficult walking the two miles everyday, attending school, coming home to another empty house, feeding the cat, sleeping away an eternity, or perhaps just seven hours or so.

She thinks life is difficult now that I'm dead.

Me? I just miss watching her.

- - - - -

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Sunday, May 15

Alone but not lonely. I suppose this phrase fits me quite well, as much as it puzzles my family and friends. I am quite content in an empty house full of blaring music, typing away at a keyboard, chilling with a pile of cats, who idly sleep away the afternoon. Still debating whether or not being a cat in a next life would be a good thing or not. Lots of sleep, yes, but you'd have a constant case of fish breath. Not that I'd care then, of course.

Felines aside. It's the same at school. The only place you find me outside of class is a hallway alcove, where I am either a) doing homework or b) reading a book. Everyone else is amused by wandering the halls, cafeteria, library, and computer lab, laughing and chasing. I am amused by novels. It all works out, I suppose, even if I am not exactly the most exciting person to hang out with.

But I can't help but lay alone in bed sometimes, ignoring the textbooks on the floor, symphonic Led Zeppelin and neon light the only other objects that show some sign of existence, and miss human company. A blessing and a curse, having such interests, I suppose, and such unorthodox views on life. I have, what, five friends? Out of a school of 800? Lots of friendly acquaintances, sure, but not really people who you would let lick your personal items without you raising an eyebrow.

I don't like feeling lonely, because somehow I think I asked for it. I wanted to be alone. Isn't that it? I feel like I shouldn't complain and then I just sit there and forget for a while because there isn't anything better to do and nothing to distract me from doing it.

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the city I live in the city of angels?
As lonely as I am, together we cry

Sometimes it's not so bad, though...because it's easier to laugh when no one's around...

But I miss being with you now, when there are only cool breezes from open windows to console me and all of the light has gone away.

(3) comments

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